1910-032709
I have just read a letter from as friend. It's not that new. It was dated 06/03/2008 9:18 pm. I haven't really given that much thought about it back then. But reading it again, now, i feel so ashamed. I feel so dismayed. So disgusted with myself, allowing those kind of things to happen. Yes. I can be too deep at times. Too deep for anyone to understand what the hell I am thinking about. But there are times too, that i can be more immature than someone aged 7. Minus the tantrums.
Why can't I be contented with things i already have? Why am I always looking for something else aside from what God gave to me? I have let someone pass, in search for someone of "more value" (for me, at least). Now that that "someone" has moved on, and i haven't found someone else that has something of "more value", i feel so disgusted with myself. I have been selfish. I haven't really thought of what she may feel if i do this, if i do that. i have been insensitive.
Now she has someone else in her life, I feel the heavens fall down onto me. I can feel the bowels of the earth, slowly consuming my pathetic self, digesting my innards without a single tinge of guilt, but rather, with an overwhelming sense of self satisfaction felt while doing something to someone who deserves nothing in this sorry world.
I have just read a letter from as friend. It's not that new. It was dated 06/03/2008 9:18 pm. I haven't really given that much thought about it back then. But reading it again, now, i feel so ashamed. I feel so dismayed. So disgusted with myself, allowing those kind of things to happen. Yes. I can be too deep at times. Too deep for anyone to understand what the hell I am thinking about. But there are times too, that i can be more immature than someone aged 7. Minus the tantrums.
Why can't I be contented with things i already have? Why am I always looking for something else aside from what God gave to me? I have let someone pass, in search for someone of "more value" (for me, at least). Now that that "someone" has moved on, and i haven't found someone else that has something of "more value", i feel so disgusted with myself. I have been selfish. I haven't really thought of what she may feel if i do this, if i do that. i have been insensitive.
Now she has someone else in her life, I feel the heavens fall down onto me. I can feel the bowels of the earth, slowly consuming my pathetic self, digesting my innards without a single tinge of guilt, but rather, with an overwhelming sense of self satisfaction felt while doing something to someone who deserves nothing in this sorry world.
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